


the nucleotides are always right

by inverse



Category: South Park
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2009-06-11
Updated: 2009-06-11
Packaged: 2017-10-31 12:07:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 443
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/343865
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inverse/pseuds/inverse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>we can't escape the genetics, you and i.</p><blockquote>
  <p>Kyle has been to enough funerals to last him an entire lifetime. Out of the fourteen that he’s attended, twelve were held for relatives, most of whom were riddled with chronic diseases-- heart disease, kidney failure, diabetes; you name it, they probably had it. Two of them died in car accidents. Kyle perceives all these as some kind of sick Jewish trend and lives with the niggling feeling that hereditariness will, one day, catch up with him. He is a stern believer in genetics.</p>
</blockquote>
            </blockquote>





	the nucleotides are always right

Kyle has been to enough funerals to last him an entire lifetime. Out of the fourteen that he’s attended, twelve were held for relatives, most of whom were riddled with chronic diseases-- heart disease, kidney failure, diabetes; you name it, they probably had it. Two of them died in car accidents. Kyle perceives all these as some kind of sick Jewish trend and lives with the niggling feeling that hereditariness will, one day, catch up with him. He is a stern believer in genetics.

The other two were Kenny’s. The first one was when Kenny contracted dystrophy, back in third grade. The second one takes place when he gets knocked down by somebody rich and morally affected enough to provide compensation. His parents spend a quarter of it on the funeral; the rest goes to their beer and coke fund. So Kyle concludes that death and taxes aren’t the two certain things in life-- they’re actually terminal illnesses and car accidents, and he reaches the enlightening conclusion as Father Maxi finally ends the eulogy and calls for friends and family to say their last goodbyes to the boy who met (one of) his tragic death(s) while crossing the road to get a soda from the convenience store. From behind the glass Kenny’s skin is unmarred, save for the scar on his neck where his head nearly snapped off, stitched back together and buried beneath a thick layer of makeup.

Afterwards he skips the burial and kisses Stan at the entrance of the church when everyone else is gone, right under the watchful eye of Jesus. He figures that it’s alright because if anyone was going to burn in Hell, it would be Stan, not him. Stan kisses like an amateur and doesn’t know where to put his hands, and about five seconds in he laughs and pulls away from Kyle, who wonders if it’s because Stan just isn’t interested. “Look, if you’re hungry,” Stan begins, “we can get some pizza--”

“But no beer,” he interrupts. “Beer gives you colon cancer.” Stan rolls his eyes like he thinks Kyle’s being paranoid.

Three weeks later someone throws rocks at his windowpane while he’s finishing up his Calculus homework. He sticks his head out of the window, and Kenny is standing on the pavement wearing someone’s hand-me-downs and a tired grin, looking as good as new. He yells, “Miss me yet?” Kyle’s head spins and his heart beats fast enough to feel like the onset of cardiac arrest, but he knows it’s not his time yet; he’s probably just nervous.

“You’ve been gone longer,” he manages to say. “Why don’t you try harder next time?”


End file.
